*in the same tone of voice as the guy in the ‘can i get a waffle’ vine* can i get a wife? can i PLEASE get a wife???

garashirs:

hang on

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alonesomes:

“If the battle is over but everyone is dead, how do you know it’s over? Who decides? What came first, humans or despair? Did it crawl inside of us or did we crawl inside of it? It’s warm where the flesh, which is yours, meets the mistake, which is an open mouth on the bed in your dorm room, tongue like a serpent, like something lost and frantic. If you keep going, will it settle down? These are the hard questions. What do you call a punchline when there isn’t a joke for it? Why did the chicken cross the road and why didn’t you? How many licks does it take to get to the center of the loneliness? Yes, the tree still makes a sound, and yes, you will still want to disappear even if no one is around to snap you out of it. Listen to all the cars screeching to a halt outside of your window. Listen to the engines rumbling softly. Listen to how they are all saying “Get through this. Get through this.” When does being brave not look like being brave? When is the princess not a princess? When is the hero not a hero? Who cares. Save yourself. Fuck the story.”

Caitlyn Siehl, Riddles (via alonesomes)

















anybody else nut when they see sen mitsujis face cus dear lordt





martianbees:

creed-of-corruption:

island-delver-go:

secretsinthemargin:

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

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OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”

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munday meme - multimuse edition

  • There's a lot of munday-memes asking the muns questions about the muses, but those are always only about one muse. This meme here is for those mun's who've got plenty of muses. So send a symbol for a question.
  • 🔟: How many active muses do you have in total?
  • 🔜: Are there any muses you want to add, but aren't sure about?
  • 👪: Are any relationships between your muses? (friends, family, enemies, etc.)
  • 🌠: From waht you know of my muse, which of your muses would you reccomend me to play with and why?
  • 🎊: Which is your favorite muse?
  • 🎭: With which of your muses can you identify the most?
  • 💬: Write a banter between two of your muses. (Bonus: Sender chooses which muses)
  • 👄: Which of your muses would probably get sexual with each other, if they met?
  • 💀: Which of your muses would probably fight each other if they met?
  • 🐞: Which is your most childish muse?
  • 🐢: Which is your most mature muse?
  • 👻: Which is your most mischievous muse?
  • 🐜: Which of your muses is the most clever/intelligent/educated one?
  • 🐌: Which of your muses is the least clever/intelligent/educated one?
  • 👰: WHich of your muses would you date?
  • 💥: Which of your muses would you fight with?
  • 🐩: Which of your muses is the most loyal?
  • 🐑: Which of your muses is the most peaceful/friendly one?
  • 🐦: Which of your muses is the vainest?
  • 🐎: Which of your muses is the fastest?
  • 🐮: Which of your muses is the strongest?
  • 🐷: Which of your mises is the naughtiest?
  • 🐺: Which of your muses is the most unsocial?
  • 🐹: Which of your muses is the smallest?
  • 🐘: Which of your muses is the tallest?






A I